Anxiety - Part I
Anxiety. It’s a word that comes up quite often in our vocabulary...
It makes me feel anxious
It gives me anxiety just thinking about it
I’m so anxious
But do you know the difference between feeling anxious and actually suffering anxiety? No? Well neither did I, until I was told by a GP almost 5 years ago that I had anxiety and to go for a run.
Let’s rewind back to that time. I had been living on the Gold Coast for less than a year, was in a semi new relationship, living with new roommates and without my constant support I had back in Hervey Bay - my mum, friends and a job I loved. Add in the fact I’d also stupidly lost my license from drink driving, so was dependent on public transport (not so great on the Gold Coast) and my job required me to travel by bus>train>bus to Logan most days of the week from Burleigh, sometimes even Coolangatta (insert tired emoji). I had a lot of exciting and new things happening, but had limited time to look after myself and my health. With 4am wake up calls just to get to work on time, I was exhausted by the days end. My form of exercise was rushing between transport drop offs to get myself to work, so by the time I had decided I wanted to go for a run, my breathing was so bad I thought my asthma had welcomed itself back into my life. Thus, my GP appointment.
When I got to the appointment, I hadn’t met my GP before. She asked me usual questions about where I was from, how long I’d lived here for. She then asked questions relating to my support network, my job, stress levels etc, which I found quite bizarre. “I’m here for you to check if my asthma’s returned” I thought, but her probing made me feel otherwise.
She carried out the asthma test and looked over the results as I waited in the office. When she came back in she asked me how long it had been since I’d gone for a run. I remember saying I can’t even remember. I had been so concerned with my breathing that I didn’t want to run the risk of exercising and not be able to get a deep breath in. She grabbed my shoulders, looked me dead in the eye and said, “Go for a run. Your lungs are fine, it is not ashthma. You have anxiety.” I was dumbfounded and to be honest a bit angry and disappointed. I left feeling like I hadn’t got anything out of the appointment, when all I wanted was an asthma puffer lol.
I was in denial for quite a while. But I had made time to go for my runs. My breathing started to improve and I eventually forgot about my “anxiety”.
I had been casually contracting for a university in the placements department when they offered my a full time contract as a Placements Coordinator for Nursing students. I was excited to be back working full time, with consistent hours and pay, but it was stressful. I was learning new systems, dealing with students, coordinating with health facilities and the Nursing team. Stress got the better of me. It wasn’t until we were having a meeting with the Nursing team, that I started to feel hot and bothered. My breathing had shortened and I was pulling my shirt away from my neck and chest, in the hope it would increase my air flow. I remember going to the window and asking if it would open, almost sending me into a panic attack when they told me it was locked shut. The Head of Department asked me if I had anxiety and I immediately responded, “No, I just needed some fresh air” (obviously still in denial). After a few mindful deep breaths, I managed to pull myself together. This “almost” panic attack pulled me out of my denial and forced me to look at my situation and patterns of stress. I’d finally accepted that the GP was right. I started to look back at all the stressful situations in my life - nearing deadlines, breakups, moving, planning my future and had also realised that I had probably had anxiety for much longer than when I first saw the GP. This was 4 years ago, and only this year have I sought medical help for it.
I had my first Psychologist appointment last week, which was quite confronting, to open up and revisit my past. It was also refreshing to talk to someone who didn’t know me, had no preconceived judgements and was able to explain to me what type of anxiety I have - generalised anxiety.
Anxiety is a natural human feeling. It is important in the way that we react to certain situations, but when this causes us distress and makes us unable to focus on daily activities, that is when it becomes unhealthy. It can come in different disorders as per the Australian Government, Department of Health website:
Panic disorder: Sudden bursts of extreme anxiety that are accompanied by symptoms like a pounding heart, sweaty palms, and shortness of breath or nausea.
Agoraphobia: Anxiety about being in places or situations from which it is difficult to escape should a panic attack occur.
Social phobia (also called social anxiety disorder): Strong fear of social interaction or performance situations because of the potential for embarrassment of humiliation.
Generalized anxiety disorder: Long periods of uncontrollable worry about everyday issues or events, which is typically accompanied by feelings of fatigue, restlessness or difficulty concentrating.
Posttraumatic stress disorder: Recurrent and intrusive memories of a trauma, feelings of emotional numbing and detachment, and increases in emotional arousal, such as irritability and disturbed sleep, resulting from a previous traumatic event.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder: Repeated thoughts, images or impulses that the person feels are inappropriate, and repetitive behaviours, designed to reduce the anxiety generated by the thoughts.
I do believe that the more you talk about anxiety, the less power you give it. If you are feeling like you may be suffering from anxiety, please do not self diagnose yourself based on my personal experience. Book an appointment with your GP and they will go over a series of questions to help decide if you need to go on a Mental health plan. They can either refer you to someone or you can suggest your own. I’m thankful I have a good friend who is also a psychologist, that was able to put me on to mine. It is important to feel connected to your Psych, so if you don’t, shop around.
If you haven’t experienced anxiety in your life and you don’t completed understand it, please take the time to understand. From the Beyond Blue statistics, “One quarter of Australians will experience an anxiety condition in their lifetime. 26.3% of Australians ages 16 to 85 have experienced an anxiety disorder, which equates to 4.96 million people today!” This is a huge and mind blowing stat!
With our fast paced world, it’s important for us to self reflect, slow down and remember life is meant to be lived and enjoyed. If you have resonated with this blog or know someone who may also resonate with it, please share. I also urge you to pick up the phone, call or check in with a friend or book that appointment you’ve been putting off!
Cheers to your health,
Narelle x